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(no subject) [May. 9th, 2006|06:29 pm]
[music |starlit drive mix]

i remember when i was a kid i used to want to fill the floor of my room with the fake grass that came in easter baskets.
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take me away. [Feb. 15th, 2006|01:55 pm]
[mood |restlessrestless]
[music |copeland - in motion]

i want to be at the shore right now.

the end.
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this winter [Oct. 17th, 2005|05:38 pm]
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |the sound of animals fighting]

i am excited for this winter. for some reason, it seems like things happen in the winter. regardless of whether they are good or bad, it seems like a period of higher activity.

right now it's raining here for the first time since i've been in the dorm. i hung christmas lights on my bed.

This winter:

it will be: overcast, cold, hopefully rainy

i can: listen to music while driving in the rain, light candles, open windows, wear sweatshirts, see my parents, see my dogs, stare at stars

i will be: complacent, observant

i will: go to seattle, spend time with family, start hiking the mountain, work almost the entire break, go to california, surf, spend time with pete, finish recording, go to a pumpkin patch, take pictures, carve a pumpkin, drink apple cider, drink hot chocolate, go to c4, decorate the tree, make a mix, go on a picnic, play lots of guitar, go to tahoe, read a book or two.
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pictures [Jul. 11th, 2005|12:41 am]




[More on Pete's LJ]

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okay.....raccoon! i almost just said microwave. [Jul. 9th, 2005|01:37 am]
[mood |gratefulgrateful]
[music |godspeed you black emperor! - motherfucker=redeemer]

ahh so it's been a super busy week. i've been procrastinating on updating. but here it is. i got a haircut today. it's the shortest it's been. i like it this way. umm, the waves this afternoon were the best ever. i mean it this time. the paper said 6-12ft this morning but it was only chest-head high. but still perfect.

the last week was one of the most fun times i've ever had. i could not have asked for anything better. gretchen and june came out to visit and everythign was just awesome. i'll try to keep it short because if described in detail it would be my life's work. it was like a movie. right when they got here we went up north to spend a few days at pete's house. i drove in a few circles. we stopped at a grocery store. bought dibs (i recommend) and cookie dough. the first night we wandered around this area of mahwah with a ton of huge houses and explored this "haunted' mansion that's been deserted forever. umm gretchen and i definitely saw two people that were not pete and june at the mansion. spooky. after a bit of creeping ourselves out we went to the diner and then back to pete's and watched the tahoe video..great memories.

monday we went into the city. the second we got off the subway it started pouring. we bought two umbrellas and kept going. hit a costume shop, and then found some awesome place to eat. i went for the grilled cheese/hot chocolate. perfect rainy day lunch. it was all so surreal. after that we headed to a park, some guy totally gave us directions that overheard us arguing about which way it was. that's because gretchen got us karma for saying hi to everyone in new york. hah.  anyway, hit a vintage store, bought a shirt, saw the park, wanted to play the sketchy guys at the tables in chess in the worst way. pete advised me not to. walked back, stopped at urban. bought this PERFECT green ice cream bowl. and a candle made from a coconut. hah we bought this game called battle of the sexes there too and played it that night. pete and i dominated but the girls ended up winning because we are nice and they were lucky :>  oh also went to the best pizza place in the world in mahwah (kinchley's) that night when we got back.

tuesday-picnic fest. pete's incredibly planned out annual event. he made a ton of mixes for everyone. we hit the store, bought sandwich makings and juice boxes. the 4 of us formed an assembly line and made 30 sandwiches in like 10 minutes. it was rad. gretchen's cousin (miss new york) came all the way from the city and met us at pete's then we all went to the park. had an awesome time there. like 50 kids showed up in all. good times. a baseball game was being played. we routed for ramsey. joey was an awesome pitcher. haha.  anyway, saw some old friends and such. then we started driving down to my house. we brought a ton of mixes pete made. all of which were all over the place and incredibly orchestrated. pete has mad talent for making mixes...we talked a bunch and it was just a totally enjoyable drive. hit up the beach when we got down here and just sat on the lifeguard chair staring into the ocean getting bitten by bugs. then watched i <3 huckabees at home.

wednesday was rainy, but we went bowling which was a blast. haha you had to keep your own score. (nj is so ghetto) it was kinda neat that way though except you couldn't always tell how many pins you knocked down. went to a cyber cafe and....oh ate carini's that night. (best restaurant ever) then we all went to the boardwalk. that was awesome. went on the ferris wheel, i won gretchen melmin. wohoo! gretchen and i had an awesome long talk about religion and such, kind of an odd experience, being on a serious topic while everyone else was so carefree and involved in what they were doing. after the boardwalk we went to the beach and just hung out all night. we met this awesome guy rich. he was crazy. i don't know how to describe him exactly, but just a super nice really chill guy.

thursday we went to the beach all day. went to cape may at night. walked around. passed time. rich called us and we met him on the beach again. oh man the drive from cape may back to our beach was amazing. we listened to "explosions in the sky - the only moment alone" and it was just ahh soo fitting. the windows were down. it felt like the car would soon soar into the air. again. like a movie. watched lost in translation that night..

friday we rented jet-skis which was soooo much more fun than i expected. it felt like i was in a minus the bear song. it's just so seemingly simple, and doesn't seem like it'd be that fun, but ahh it was so fun. definitely want to go again. pete and june were on one and gretchen and i on the other. june totally tossed pete. we didn't see it though :< i thought gretchen was a goner a few times but neither of us fell off at all. ahh such a good time. we ate carini's again that night, and then chilled on the beach again. gretchen and i had an awesome talk. the fog rolled in. you couldn't see anything. it was pete's last night :< i was bummed that he had to leave. him and june kinda hit it off (see pictures) :> i think everyone just had a great time and i'm really glad they did. so pete left the next day on the bus :( the next few days, gretchen june and i just went to the beach. my sister-in-law, niece, and nephew came on saturday. we took them miniature golfing. hah saw some kid at the beach that looked EXACTLY like me. it was crazy. june thought it was me at first. ahh. weird. i mean exactly like me. umm we watched troy, and happy gilmore, and rules of attraction...on different days. we were lazy. haha my niece/nephew put on this little song/dance performance. it was so cute. gretchen has informed me that she taught one of them to the whole dance team. haha. the last day of the visit, we rode bikes to this lake, tried to go bowling (it was closed :<) and hit a few stores. 4th of july this year was great because i got to spend it with really good friends, but the fireworks were disappointing because you could only see them being shot off, but you couldn't see them exploding becaues of this huge cloud :< bummer. it's okay, the vibe was still there. and a few kids on our beach were shooting off some of their own. after the fireworks we came home for about 3 hours then left for the airport at 2 in the morning :/ said goobye to gretchen and june :<<< and came home. was just an unreal week. we did so much, totally want to do it again. 

the last few days have been eh. boring. compared to last week. but it's good to have some down time to just relax around the house i guess. i take pride in being lazy and sleeping a lot in the summer. tomorrow we're going up north for a family reunion. but it's not gonna be very close family, so i'm not too psyched. but it'll be good to see some people. then hmm....thursday i'm off to europe. wohooo. soo excited. so hopefully i'll have another update with tons of pictures after that one. i miss everybody a ton and hope everyone's enjoying their summers to the fullest. cya.

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eighteen seconds before sunrise [Jun. 17th, 2005|10:17 pm]
[mood |nerdynerdy]
[music |Isis-Oceanic, Cursive-Such Blinding Stars for Starving Eyes]

well i've decided to update the lj again this summer. mostly because of boredom. don't feel obliged to read any or all. people should update more. tyler's the only one :< (thank you tyler for that i'm still a devoted reader) i feel healthily separated. but still would like to know how everyone's summers are going.

anyway, the trip out was kinda average. well, there was a tornado warning on our way out in oklahoma city. but i guess there always is. i think it's been storming there every time we've driven through. the first few days here weren't too great...there were no waves, so there was nothing to do. cameron came out last thursday though, and he just left yesterday :< but we had a good time. it's still kinda dead here though...everyone's still in school. we went to the boardwalk a few times, lots of walking on the beach, sorry if i called you. hmm..saw mr. and mrs. smith, and then the next night saw this awesome interview with angelina jolie on a&e with james lipton from inside the actor's studio. james lipton is incredible. if you have not seen him you should. i have to say i've changed my mind about angelina jolie too. i used to think she was overrated and was sort of against her, but after hearing her in the interview i must say i'm somewhat attracted. umm oh we watched i <3 huckabees, which i enjoyed a lot, but i need to watch it again. my sister came for 2 nights......with her new boyfriend. he's a nice guy, but he's not greg. so that was a nice little period of awkwardness with the family. it was weird having her here....without greg. and with some random guy. as long as she's happy :/

now for a rant: the ocean is so clean now, it keeps getting better, you can see the bottom in like 9ft of water it's nice. new jersey is shedding the stereotype. the waves lately have been awesome. two days ago it was blowing offshore and the waves were really clean and glassy and was probably my best day surfing ever. yesterday it was really big. storm came. yeah. a dolphin scared the shit out of me the other day because i thought it was a shark and there was an attack about an hour north from here. there was a middle aged man in a wetsuit laughing at me because of course he saw the whole pod of them. also, cameron saw a seal near the shore.

i got my parents hooked on curb your enthusiasm, so i've been watching that all night. my brother john is coming down with his wife and 3 kids next week. so i'm psyched to see the nieces/nephews. i'm stuck in the past. they're all so old now. june, gretchen, and (possibly) danielle come out the 26th! i'm really psyched for that too. i think we're spending a few nights up with pete then he's coming down with us back here. that should all be a lot of fun. can't wait. hmm..then after they leave, there's an open week, like the only one all summer, but i think trev and ryan may be secretly planning a road trip out here. i told them to not tell me if they were so it would be a surprise. any bets on how far they'll get? ahh i'm sooo excited for europe...italy and ireland for 12 days...oh man. i'll take lots of pictures. sigur ros is playing the night we leave....in rome.....so bummed.

today was boring. there were no waves. i slept in. and then...i don't know what else. the day disappeared. oh i was gonna go to modest mouse....but tickets were $40 before ticketmaster charges and such...and i was gonna go. but i didn't want to drive an hour to find that my name wasn't on their tickets list cus i was going to buy them like an hour before the show. oh well. tomorrow i'm going on a 2mile run in cape may point for some sort of thing. i don't know quite what. but my mom signed me up. wohoo.

i hate mosquitoes. i am plagued with bites.

i'm gonna try and post pictures later, but i don't feel like figuring it out at the moment. hope everyone is having a wonderful summer.
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first day of school.. [Aug. 16th, 2004|08:32 pm]
[mood |discontentdiscontent]
[music |the blood brothers - pink tarantulas]

blah, i have to type all of this over. ok, well today was the first day of school.

i went to breakfast at the good egg this morning with trev, jordan, carolyn, collin, matt, danielle, and tyler. it was good to see everyone before we had to go in for the big day.

it felt sooo weird walking into school today. i don't know why, i just had this odd feeling. it was nice to see everyone again, people i hadn't seen in a while. my classes are kinda ehh.... there aren't very many people i know in them. annie is in my first hour, trev and jordan are in my 4th hour, but that's about it. i don't know, things just didn't feel right. i mean don't get me wrong, it's awesome being able to leave after 4th hour, but school seems like it's missing something. i wanted this year to be awesome since it's my last, but it doesn't seem like things are going to turn out that way. it's just i'm never going to get to see anyone at all this year and that makes me sad. we stayed a little bit for lunch today too, but everything just felt so different. maybe things will change, i'm sure i'll adjust. it's just a bit of a let down at first. i felt so bad leaving cameron and danielle at school after lunch. guilt. i think last year i really had it good, i just never realized it.

after school, we practiced for a bit at jon's. but we didn't get anything done, and we sounded really bad. matt and jordan came to witness our sucking. i guess that's one good thing about this year, we'll get to practice every day. hopefully that will help things a bit. i came home at 3 and then slept until 8. i'm not sure why, i wasn't really that tired. anyway, i have to go do my annoying/pointless first day of school homework. i hope everyone else had a really awesome first day of school. adios.
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(no subject) [Aug. 14th, 2004|01:06 am]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |conan]

blah 2 days till school. it went too fast. we had band practice again today. we've been working on 2 new songs, so far they sound really good, but they have a ways to go before we finish them. after practice i went and bought dog food and got some in and out...it was so good. i hadn't had it for 3months. came home for a bit and then went to trev's. we went in the pool like old times. haha, marissa is so cool. she was doing belly flops into the pool from the spa, she'd give us a thumbs up after she did them. then after 3 or so, she stopped talking, and then said stomach hurt. lol. you had to be there. and you'd have to know marissa. i should have not typed that. hmm, we decided to go to for the record's show since it was already too late to go see dustin kensrue at the modified. i feel like i betrayed thrice. ehh. oh well. danielle came to meet us at trev's and then her, trev, taylor, and i all went down to the venue of scottsdale. they played really well, i was impressed, but not blown away. but still very very good for only being together 5months. it makes us being together 4 years a disgrace. we went to the sugar bowl afterwards. (2nd night in a row) i had a big cookies and cream sunday like last time. oh it was so good. the glassblowing guy wasn't there though again! i was so mad. last night we went there after a meeting thing at denny's. it was for 'the arizona coalition of rock' formed by a guy with an interest for rock in az i guess. his goal is to get 30 bands into south by southwest (an enormous music festival in austin, TX) since nobody from phoenix made it last year. anyway, we may audition, but we lack good recordings so we probably won't make it. oh well. hmm ok sorry for the sidetrack. after the sugarbowl we drove home and saw these people having sex (while driving). it was crazy. lol, alright i guess that is all there is to say about the last two nights. another stupid entry.
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rainy day. [Aug. 11th, 2004|11:57 pm]
[mood |okayokay]
[music |The Unicorns - who will cut our hair when we're gone?]

i don't know why i put that as the subject. it only rained for a little bit, but it was nice. i love rainy days in az. anyway, i slept in today. we didn't practice because ryan's dog was throwing up. i thought that was a good excuse. hmm..i'm in a better mood than i was last night, sorta. i can't really explain why i was in a bad mood. but it's a little better now. mmm. i went to school with cody to get my parking permit and pick up books. it was really hot out. we saw haley and her sister there. then what...today was long and mostly pointless. cody was able to hang out earlier than expected. so i was happy about this. we went down to walgreens and met up with sal, ashley, jordan, matt, and collin. trev came out and we talked for a while. then danny showed up and we got caught up which was really cool because i hadn't had the chance to talk to him for a while. danny is the funniest storyteller in the world. he always makes me laugh. i bought this tazo giant peach tea that is really good. we went over to taco bell, and then ryan showed up, and left shortly after. danielle came too!! so yeah i ran into a lot of people today. that's kind of strange actually..4 people. crazy. hmm, we decided to go to the park to play frisbee but there was a cop there telling us it was closed, so we went to the parking lot of california burger and i brought 2 frisbees from home. and we all just threw it around, it was surprisingly fun and i got the chance to get caught up with a lot of people. sal had to leave early :< it was good seeing collin too, it was the first time i'd seen him since getting back. after frisbee, i went home. that was pretty much the day. boring stuff.
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For the Record [Aug. 3rd, 2004|01:23 am]
[mood |distant]
[music |Death Cab for Cutie - Steadier Footing]

before anyone reads this, it is an accumulation of over a week's time and is very long. i'm sorry. time wasted cannot be recovered. you may want to skip this one.

i guess the first thing that happened since last time i posted was haley's visit. well haley came and stayed for the week. we had a good time, despite some shitty weather toward the end. the first day, her flight came in kinda late, so we just walked down to the beach, and had carini's for dinner. the next day we (haley) slept really really late :/ (she broke my record). we rented monster, which was really good, then we watched some seinfeld and stayed up for modest mouse on conan. the next day we drove up to atlantic city for the day. saw napoleon dynamite with one other person in the theatre hah. new jersey movie theatres leave a lot to be desired. we ate out at some restaurant that night back by the house, which i thought was really good. had to work the next day, my mom showed her cape may. went to the boardwalk for a bit and got some ice cream on the way back. it rained the next few days and we didn't do a whole lot. hah we rented 'fast times at ridgemont high' but i think i missed something. because the movie had no substance. i don't know, it seemed so lacking. we went to the beach the day after and made these really cool little heads out of sand. haley's was really good, but she broke it, so we made a body out of mine. hah, it had seaweed as hair and coal as a nose. it was so cool, i was proud. the last few nights we pretty much stayed in and rented movies or watched tv. haley had a pint of ice cream each night. 3 nights in a row. sooo hardcore. went to the boardwalk during the day in search of this brownie batter blizzard from dairy queen because it looked so good. but they didn't have it :<. we went to a few stores and haley bought some gifts for her family. haha, she bought this cat that looks sooooo real it's scary. she was holding it on the way out and like 3 people thought it was real. matt's letter came in the mail!!! oh man, it was so good to hear from him. i was overjoyed. i <3 matt. well, the bad news is i didn't get to teach haley to surf because i had work and we were out the first few days, then the weather sucked, and the one time we went to the beach, it wasn't a great day to learn. :<. next time. the good news is haley didn't get me on a roller coaster. hah, i'm such a wuss. i suck.

the waves that hit the coast the day after haley left were the biggest i've ever seen there my entire life, and probably the biggest the beach could handle without closing out. i went out in the morning at low tide and it was breaking really far out. 2 of the lifeguards and my friend shawn and i were all out. but it started to rain and the waves died down so we all came in. i went back later that day at about 3 and the waves were big to where it was scary, for me at least. there was a huge black cloud over the ocean too so that kinda added to it all. the faces of some of the set waves were taller than me though, so it was pretty big for new jersey. there were like 12 people out too, and were all screaming at the top of their lungs when they got a good ride, it was a great vibe.

i had my last day of work a few days after, that felt good. then my dad had his friend, and his wife and kid over for 2 nights. so that was ok. my dad and his friend got in a huge political argument after having a few too many. that was fun, i decided to leave the house so i went and played mini golf with jimmy.

friday i slept in and hung around the house most of the day, typical summer day. i didn't feel like surfing. at like 7, i randomly got the urge to go on a bike ride, so i went to sunset lake, and then rode back to our beach, and took some pretty cool pictures of the sunset. i was in an odd mood..i don't know what it was, but radiohead's - kid A seemed to fit it perfectly. i went home and chilled out for a bit. i talked to cody and matt on the phone for a long time, it was good to catch up with them.

on saturday, we drove up north for the day because we were going to go see how my grandma was doing (she had her 2nd stroke a week prior) she was recovering yet again even at the age of 93, but when we went to see her saturday...it was bad. i wish i hadn't. i would have rather remembered how she was before the 2nd stroke. but she was really barely hanging in there. she wasn't cognizant enough to know we were there. it was hard seeing her like that. i had to leave the room. that night, i went to my friend pete's house to stay over. it was awesome to see him again. the thing about pete is, i get to see him once or twice a year, but every time we see each other we pick up right where we left off, which is really cool. i've known him since kindergarten. hmm, so we hung out for a bit and got caught up on things. shared our situations i suppose. it's weird. he's going through a lot of the same exact things i am with friends/situations, just everything. we're always able to discuss things and help each other out even with virtually no knowledge of the problem. so yeah, we went down to the dollar store, and bought those little strawberry hard candies. i also bought a bob marley dvd for $1. it was a must. we then decided to drive by my old house :< as we were driving, i was pointing to this house where these really cool kids used to live, but there was some deuchebag in the driveway who thought i was pointing at him, so the whole time he watches us drive by. so i'm like "hey pete i think he just flipped us off" so pete put it in reverse and opened the sunroof and flipped him off. he was pretty upset about this. we went over to jeff's for a bit (another old friend i see every summer) and hung out for a while in his driveway, i got to see a lot of people ihadn't for such a long time. hahaha oh yeah, and we discovered that the kid we flipped off is this really scary kid. his nickname is maglite because he almost killed his girlfriends brother with a maglite. i guess he has a little anger problem. poor pete. he saw his car. he's screwed. hah. he had a bunch of people over his house. we went on the back deck and played some cards and listened to some music. i met some cool new people. it was too late to see a movie after, so pete jeff and i just went for a drive through mahwah. we went up to rio vista (this really vast housing community with enormous houses) and explored a bit. saw some houses that made the ones on black mountain look like shacks. we went up to "the top of the world" hah. hmm, then we wandered around a bit and eventually ended up at a diner. every time i hang out with pete and jeff, i end up laughing the whole time. something funny is bound to happen when we're together, i can't explain it. i got some fries and a huge brownie sunday. we got home at 2:30 and i don't really remember what we did. probably just ate and fell asleep. woke up at 2 something the next day. my parents called, and i got the news that my grandma had died. my parents picked me up like an hour later. my mom and i then drove all the way back down to the shore because we needed to get a few things. spent the night getting an early start on packing. woke up the next day to the worst thunderstorm i've ever been in. it sucked. i usually like thunderstorms, but i was going to surfing that morning, and then i couldn't sleep because of the thunder. but it was shaking the house and the storm was like right over us. so all the streets flooded again. hmm, i guess then we drove back up to north jersey to my grandma's place. my brother kelly, sister-in-law bente, sister-in-law monica, my nieces katelyn and lilly, and nephew kelly were all there already. we pretty much spent the whole day going through all of her stuff and putting it in boxes. it felt so weird. i don't know. it just doesn't feel right. i can't go through other people's stuff. the idea of 'claiming' someone else's property just because they've died seems absurd, but that's probably because i don't grasp death too well. despite the bad conditions, it was still good to see a lot of my family on such short notice (kelly and bente flew out from seattle that day). we all went out to eat at an italian place for dinner. tomorrow there are two wakes, and then the funeral is the next day. thursday, we drive back down to the shore and pack all day. and then friday morning we leave.

i don't know, this summer has gone by too fast. it seems that time accelerates as you get older.. next year is going to be very different. i'm already looking forward to next summer, but what comes after that i'd prefer not to think about. next summer we're planning on doing a small tour, then i'll be in NJ for a while, hopefully tara, matt, trev, cameron, haley, and whoever else can come and visit. then we're planning on going to italy and ireland for a few weeks. then off to college. i really need to make the best of next year. i don't know why kids are so eager to get through high school. you get this opportunity once in your life and then you're done. and you never realize what you have until it's gone. i'm really excited to see everybody again, i miss everyone :< i want to go out to california a lot next year. every 3day weekend. maybe even before school starts. and of course maybe next summer. i forgot to add that before. i really miss cave creek and i want to get back home, back in my own room. and i can't express how much i miss the band. i've realized how big a part of my life it is, and how much i rely on it for happiness. the first show back, i will be psyched. so i'll be home soon, but i'm sort of dreading the ride back though because 4 days in the car allows my mind to wander. sometimes thinking about things makes them worse. reading and music will distract me enough. matt's emails keep me sane. anyway, i apologize for the long post. i might update again thursday. but i just need to get through the next few days. <3.
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